THE LIFE OF AESOP
Translated by Sir Roger L'Estrange
CHAPTER X
AEsop bring his Master a Guest that had no
sort of Curiosity in him
XANTHUS laid hold of the present Occasion, and was willing
enough to be furnished with a Staff to beat a Dog. Well, Sirrah,
says he, since this learned Gentleman is too curious, go you your
ways and find me out a Man that has no Curiosity at all, or I'll
lace your Coat for ye. AEsop, the next Day, walked the whole
Town over on his Errand, and at last found out a slovenly lazy
Fellow, lolling at his Ease, as if he had nothing to do, or to take
care for; and so up to him he went in a familiar way, and invited
him to his Master's to Supper. The Clown made no Ceremony of
promising, but fell presently to asking what kind of Man his Master
was. And what, says he, are we going just now? (for this poor
Devil look'd upon a Meal's Meat gratis, as a Blessing dropt into
his Mouth out of the Skies.) Come (says AEsop) we are going this
very Moment; and wonderfully glad he was to find by the Booby's
Discourse that he had met with a Man so fit for his purpose. Away
they went together, and so strait into the Parlour, where the
Blockhead throws himself down dirty and beastly as he was, upon
a rich Couch. After a very little while, in comes Xanthus to supper,
and asks AEsop who that Man was? Why, this is the Man, says
AEsop, that you sent me for; that is to say, a Man that has no
Curiosity in him at all. Oh, that's very well, says Xanthus; and then
told his Wife in her Ear, that if she would be but a loving and
obedient Wife to him, and do as he bad her, he would now save
her longing; for, says he, I have been a great while seeking for an
Occasion to pick a Quarrel with AEsop, and I have found it at last.
After this Whisper, Xanthus takes a Turn in the Parlour, and calls
aloud to his Wife; hark ye, sweet heart, says he, go fetch some
Water, and wash the Feet of my Guest here. Away she goes,
brings a Bason to the side of the Couch, where the Clown was laid
at his length, and bad him put forth his Feet for her to wash them.
Xanthus little thought she would have done it. But the Clown,
after a little stumble within himself, that 'twas fitter for the Maid
to do't than the Mistress: Well, says he, if it be the Custom of
the Family, 'tis not for me to be against it; and so he stretch'd
forth his Feet to her washing.
So soon as ever the Company had taken off the edge of their
Stomachs, Xanthus calls for a Bumper, and puts it into the Hands
of the Clown, making no doubt but he would have allow'd his
Host the Honour of being his Taster. The Fellow, without any
scruple, whips up the Drink; and gives Xanthus the Pot again
empty, who was now the second time disappointed upon the Matter
of Curiosity, or no Curiosity at all. He had a Mind still to be upon
poor AEsop's Bones, and made another Tryal of the Humour of his
Guest. There was a particular Dish that the Clown fed very
heartily upon: Xanthus fell into a Rage with the Cook for ill-
dressing of it, and threaten'd to have him brought and lash'd in
the very Parlour. The Bumkin took no notice of it at all, but without
speaking one word on the Cook's behalf, it was nothing to him
he thought, what other People did with their Servants.
They were come now to their Cakes and Pyes, and the Clown
guttled upon them without Mercy. Xanthus resolves then upon
another Tryal; calls for his Pastry-cook and tells him, Sirrah, says
he, you spoil every thing that goes through your Hands. There's
neither Spice, nor any other Seasoning here. The Cook told him,
that if they were either over or under-bak'd, it was his Fault; but
for the Spice and Seasoning, it was his Mistresses, for it was all
put in that she deliver'd. Nay Wife, says Xanthus, if it sticks there,
by all that's sacred, I'll treat you no better than if you were a Slave
bought with my Money. Wherefore strip immediately and pre-
pare for a Dog-whip. Xanthus thought with himself; that if any
thing in the World could move this barbarous Brute, he would
have put in a word at least to save a Woman of Honour from so
scandalous an Indignity. But says this Loggerhead to himself,
there's an old Saying, What have we to do to quench other Peoples
Fire? And I'll e'en keep myself clear of other Peoples Matters;
only he took Xanthus by the Hand indeed, and told him if he would
but stay a little, he'd go fetch his own Wife too, and so they might
take the Lash by Turns. In one word, Xanthus missed his Aim at
last; and though he was troubled at the Miscarriage, he could not but
laugh yet at the Simplicity of the Man, and confess, that AEsop was in
the Right, in bringing a Person to him that had no Curiosity at all.